So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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