tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize