from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
