quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"