Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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