remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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