puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
