True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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