how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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