I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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