oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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