Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am one with the molecules
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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