He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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