Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
