Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Drake has all the answers
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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