Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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