he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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