The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You can't motorboat a personality
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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