defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
