Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize