I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing