when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
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How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
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When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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