then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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