We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
