he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
