That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
