What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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