i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
