Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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