Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
