If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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