I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
