I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
