You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
