How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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