i jhust puked up my retainher.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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