I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
