He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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