is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
