How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize