She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
