I feel like abortions should bother me more
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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