her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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