He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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