I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
