i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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