Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
