last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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