How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
