So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry about my life...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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