I wish I could punch you in the face.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm bleeding and have questions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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