Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe

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(781): Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe http://tfl.nu/gdp0

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.

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(610): she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break. http://tfl.nu/sziy

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."

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(403): The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention." http://tfl.nu/toh6

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"

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(920): She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets" http://tfl.nu/73nd

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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(715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win. http://tfl.nu/jyaa

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(708): View more from Illinois

Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.

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(708): Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places. http://tfl.nu/g3d1

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(541): View more from Oregon

What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

(503): View more from Oregon

3some

(541): View more from Oregon

You're right, stupid question.

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(541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. http://tfl.nu/lx7x

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(951): View more from California

My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.

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(951): My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit. http://tfl.nu/s2aa

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(516): View more from New York

I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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(516): I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?" http://tfl.nu/niuk

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(815): View more from Illinois

I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it

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(815): I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it http://tfl.nu/no3b

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

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(512): I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate http://tfl.nu/79c0

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(409): View more from Texas

I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.

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(409): I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look. http://tfl.nu/inz2

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(775): View more from Nevada

Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?

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(775): Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"? http://tfl.nu/g7e2

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him

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(413): New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him http://tfl.nu/45u3

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

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(505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik

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