I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
