my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday