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Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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