Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
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