My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think i have two assholes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.