THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
