mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
