I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
