When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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