no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
