hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
