Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
