4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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