now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
