you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
