if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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